Losing a parent: The thing kids never want to think about

We’ve all heard about Joan Rivers; the trailblazer, the writer, the comedienne, the cut up, the fashion police, the poster board for plastic surgery, the straight-no-chaser lady, the QVC lady, but the role that I admired the most was her role as a mother to Melissa. I don’t know these chicks, but when I heard she died, I immediately thought of Melissa. My heart when out to her. I was actually sad for her; she’s Joan’s only child. She just lost her mother. How does an only child deal with losing their last living parent?

I’m the only child, my dad died years ago, what would I do without MY mother?

The thought of losing a parent is a scary one, but losing your MOM? What is your life without your mother? Not one person reading this has thought about the day their mom would no longer be there. Maybe if she’s ill, it will at least enter your mind, but for most of us, for Melissa, Mom is up and about. A busy BEE with a full life that keeps her entertained and busy. She’s here for us when we need her when no on else is. When careers fail, relationships fail, when children are born, when good fortune comes our way, when we walk down the aisle; mom is usually there. During all the ups and down, she’s one of the only constants in our life. At least, the longest relationship you’ll have. She loved you before you took your first breath and you depended on her to nourish and care for you until you could do it for yourself.

Reading this post by Danielle, The Style and Beauty Doctor got me thinking about it some more. Quiet as kept, so should you. You’ll never be ready for it, but while you’re here, make it a point to thank her, listen to her, spend time with her, call her, make amends for any issues you may have had and most important, tell her you love her. That day will come, but isn’t it better to know that when she’s goes, she knew without a shadow of a doubt you loved her?

Scooter and Scooter's Mom
Me and my Mom

Never too grown up

I’m the mother of two super cool young men, Steven (24) and Christian(17). Gone are the days of kissing boo-boos or cuddling on my lap, but it never ceases to amaze me how much I long to be “mommy” again. Don’t get me wrong. My nose and butt wiping days are OVER! I don’t ever want to do that again. However, when they aren’t feeling well, mom is who is there to make it better. That is one part of my new mom role that I cherish. Whenever you need me, I’m right here.


Christian is in the ER today with a swollen knee. He’s a b-boy and spends most of his time performing death defying moves on various part of his body.


He was performing at school Friday and ever since he’s been sidelined. He never made a big deal out of it, just kept his leg up with ice on it all weekend. Last night before bed, he walked over to me and said, “Mom, feel my knee.” As soon as I touched it, I yelled, “you have water on your knee!” It was all spongy & huge. There was definitely a doctor visit in his future.


I called the the pediatrician and they said to take him to the ER, he’ll need an x-ray. With two boys, I’ve seen the inside of many an ER. Broken bones, huge white meat cuts, fevers, tummy aches and the like, they both have needed me by their side to help them get back to health. There are many joys of parenting, but one of the best is being needed. The older they get, the less they need me. I’ve become less of a parent and more of an advisor. I truly treasure that role because at this age, they do what they want. You can only hope you raised them well in the ways that they should go and hope to God they never stray too far from it.


As I sit here and watch him sleep after being poked and prodded, I think back to when he was my little “Pootie” and loved being hugged and kissed. He has grown up so fast, but he’ll never be too grown up for mom’s love.