Reassessing my intensions

I started the journey to a more healthy life in 2009 and transformed my take on food and nutrition in 2010. Everything as I knew it changed for me. It was all a part of the journey:

  • Food prep
  • Portion control
  • Food choices
  • Balancing macronutrients 
  • Rearranging schedules
  • Planning workouts
  • Moving more 
  • Eating less (crap)
  • Learning what’s in the food we eat
  • How to deal with injuries
  • Coming back from surgeries

There are more facets to this lifestyle, but you get the idea.  There are levels to this life, if you are to maintain it. 

So here we are. I have not kept up my end of the bargain. After my last surgery in September, I have not physically or mentally recovered fully. Yes, I’ve pretty much healed and the scars are fading, but I lost something important along the way, I stopped  making time for food prep, working out and watching what food I put in my body. Dare I say, I stopped caring.

My weight has dramatically increased since the end of last summer and I’m struggling to get a handle on the problem. To my defense ( if there is one), I have scheduled my time to within an inch of its life with outside activities. I teach more fitness classes (yeah, bizarre, right) I started back to night classes to finish a program is started a few years ago and I’m also studying for another fitness certification. I still have a career that is very demanding and requires being on call, working off hours and studying to stay ahead of changing technologies.  AND we got another dog.

With all of that, I’m always tired and I don’t get enough sleep to ever feel rested. 

As I type these words, I wonder how it ever got to this point, how I got so busy and became this person I barely recognize. I so look fat, none of my clothes fit anymore. I saw a photo yesterday that someone had taken of me from the back and I almost cried. It’s so bad, I don’t wear my yoga pants as pants anymore and I’ve taken to wearing sweatpants everyday. Part of it is personal family issues, part of it is trying to overachieve, part of it is financial, part of it is fear of not completing something, part of is feeling isolated.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this post, I just needed to dump these words somewhere, even if I’ve not said them all outloud before now.
I hope writing is as cathartic as everyone makes it out to be. We shall see.

Sometimes you just know

morning

Before I went to bed last night, I checked my trusty Mindbody Express app to get a look at how many folks would be in my 6:15 AM class. I was pleasantly surprised that it would be a full house, so I got to working on a challenging, but adaptable workout for the crew.

There is a method to my madness when I’m creating a workout. Although I don’t repeat many moves week in and week out, I do try to allow for strength progression that always manifests into other moves. As I was typing up my routine and setting my workout timer for the timed circuits, I felt like this would be one that folks would enjoy.

When I got there, I was really siked! My energy was on 10. Once of my favorite little powerhouses, Genevieve, was on the list and LOVES this type of stuff (WIN!). I knew she’d be as siked as I was. It was warm enough for sprints, so we’d be taking our cardio to the streets. (WIN!) and a few folks cancelled at the last minute, so there would be more room to move around and coach everyone one on one. (WIN!)

Never Give UP
Never Give Up

As the workout when on, folks were OWNING their movements; strong, determined, game face ON! It was pretty amazing to see. There were 2 moves in the workout that were going to be a bit different for most. I added more weight to the dead lifts and put some handstands in the mix. The guys had no problem with the dead lifts, but for the women, they’d never lifted this much weight before and I could sense their apprehension. As each one stepped up the the bar, I coached them on form, movement, hand placement and breathing. As usual, the first few reps are rocky, but as the reps and rounds came and went, each one had a little gleam in their eye. The eye of the tiger if you will. Genevieve was beasting those bad boys OUT! I had to clap and cheer as they dropped the weights and moved to the next exercise! They DID THE DAMN THING! The handstands got more upright too. Chins tucked, hands moved closer to the wall and they held it until the bell sounded. They took everything I threw at them and did it with power & determination.

I love being a fitness instructor. It touches a part of my soul that nothing else can reach. The camaraderie, the genuine willingness to work hard, the strength that increases week in and week out, the sweat and the accomplishment of each individual in the room gives me the greatest feeling. It’s hard to get up at 3:30-4:00AM and then have to work all day then gear up to teach some more after work. It’s not because of the money (but it helps) It’s the feeling that you’re doing something right. They’re there for your class. With all that is going on in people’s lives, they’ve made time to workout with ME! It’s a remarkable feeling and it’s something I do NOT take for granted.

As they cooled down, toweled off, cleaned their mats, racked weights, talked among themselves then bid their farewells, it felt right. Sometimes, you just know.

Good Friday: He did it to save me

Today is a special day on the Christian calendar and I wanted to drop a quick post to say, “I’m glad He did it for me!”.

Life is so complicated. We live in a time where hate and violence abound. If you’re not careful, the images you see and the words your hear will begin to turn on you; infect you, harden you, change you. Isn’t it great to have a savior, that through it all, my sins; known and unknown, spoken and thought are all washed away by the BLOOD. There is power in the Blood, in knowing that I’m worth something; I’m worth saving. Even though I may be unpopular, unconventional, and even unworthy of such a sacrifice, He still did it.

If I think times are hard and the pressure of the racism and xenophobia and sexism and violence are difficult to get from under or free yourself from, that is NOTHING compared to what HE suffered on this day, oh so many years ago.

If you’re not a believer in Christ, I respect that, but for me and mine, we are happy to say it and show it. I think it’s good to have a compass, something that you believe in that’s bigger than yourself. So many of us thing we are the end all, be all and I have chosen not to be that vein or self-center. Knowing that there is something greater than myself gives me something to look to, to work towards. I am a work in progress.

As we prepare for the gift of The Resurrection, I’d like to take this time to thank the Lord for the sacrifice. He thought I was worth saving.

I made instructor of the quarter at 12th street gym

When you love what you do, it’s never work.

 

instructorofQ4

Be sure to check out my indoor cycling classes at 12th Street Gym:

  • Tuesday and Thursday 5:45PM
  • Friday 6:30AM

Get there by 5:20PM to be sure you get a seat! It fills up FAST!

 

 

Painting with a twist with my Fit Fam

Yesterday I joined a few of my Fit Fam from 12th Street Gym for an evening of fellowship, food, wine and painting at Painting with a Twist. Attendees were asked to bring a dish and wine to share with the group. I made a shrimp dip I found on the Whole Foods site and tweaked it just a bit. Served with some fresh veggies and crackers, it was a hit.

  • 1/2 pound cooked, peeled shrimp
  • 4 green onions , roughly chopped
  • 8 ounces Neufchâtel cheese , at room temperature
  • 1/2 cup nonfat plain Greek yogurt. I used Chobani
  • 1 whole lemon. The zest and the juice.
  • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/3 cup of cilantro
  • 1 tablespoon of sriracha AKA 1 big squirt!
  • 1 tablespoon of Pickled Sliced Jalapenos, 3-5 rings.

The lemon and sriracha set it off!!!

Photoa of Shrimp Dip with Veggies & Crackers
Shrimp Dip with Veggies & Crackers

I blanched the broccoli and carrots for that nice pop of color and vibrant taste.

We laughed and painted and had a blast! Thanks for the invite, Peanut.

Back to School for Web Design

In 2012, I started in the University of the Arts continuing studies certificate program for web design and development. After several curriculum changes and time commitments taking precedence, I stopped. Earlier this year, I decided to look into what I needed to finish the program.  I discovered it wasn’t the same program. The name had changed, none of the old instructors appeared to be there, and one of the hardest classes I’ve ever taken in my life was not even going to count toward my certificate. That and the fact I had to pay a readmission fee was almost enough to turn me off. Alas, my inner smart girl got the better of me. I want to learn to code web pages. Not for a job change or anything, but more for personal enrichment. Since coding has a common thought process, I can see how it will help me in my job in the way I’d write scripts to automate processes and who doesn’t want to make their lives easier.

So, I signed up, paid my fees and I’m in there. Classes start Monday and I’m picking up at Web II.

I’m really excited and nervous at the same time. Yes, I’ve been doing some HTML/CSS since 2012, but to be back in class, behind a computer will be different. My goal is to get more into web development and dive into the LAMP stack with the Server-Side Web Development – PHP + AJAX class.  I hope to learn enough to move this blog over to my own hosted site and maybe learn to make themes or at least make them look and feel like I want them to.

I hope to post more updates as I progress through the class.  Stay tuned!